Serenading Weiss
by drawingdisaster
Summary: Jaune manages to coax the rest of his team into helping him win the heart of his beloved snow angel.


Holding her tray with both hands, Weiss moved through the crowd of people occupying the cafeteria, before finding an empty seat next to Blake.

"And so I tell him: you can't call me a thief, I am Faunus you know! I have rights and I will sue your ugly bum for being a racist." The tuna-addict of team RWBY finished her story eliciting a fit of laughter from the rest of her teammates.

"Oh Blakey, you are so funny! Tell us about when you tried to bomb a train again." Yang laughed while slapping the table, damaging it. Blake winced at the reminder of her former criminal career, but then she remembered that she was an oppressed Faunus. It was all the Schnees' fault for being such big meanies. Not Weiss though, she was okay in Blake's book since she had bought her expensive cat toys.

"Fine, I was a poor misunderstood Faunus working with other misunderstood terrorists that happened to possess animal traits towards new world order-" Blake stated as she recalled the not-so-distant events.

She had told them the story a million times, but Ruby liked the parts with the Spider Droid and Yang liked the part where the secret cat Faunus abandoned someone other than her. Learning that her partner would stab people in the back at their lowest point and walk away from them when they needed her the most was oddly reassuring for Yang. Blake's devil-may-care attitude concerning criminal activities resonated with something deep within the blonde brawler. More specifically, her mother's genes.

"-and so there I was, a mistreated Faunus that had suffered from discrimination, holding a rude, bigoted ticket-collector at gun-point. How dare he ask me for my ticket? Doesn't he know that my enslaved ancestors were the ones that constructed the train? So I hiss at him to-"

The scream of an electric guitar cut through Blake's rant like a katana through butter. Team RWBY turned towards the source of the sound, blinking in confusion upon spotting the members of team JNPR on a makeshift stage at the center of the cafeteria. When did they built that?

Jaune smiled at them wearing what looked like a ragged pirate costume with huge golden epaulettes sewn into it. His eyes drifted across the stunned faces of his friends seeking a particular member of the team as he made his guitar screech and shudder.

Nora quickly followed his lead, accompanying Jaune's guitar solo with the energetic cracking of her drums. The Valkyrie's visage was covered in white face paint with black lines drawn around her eyes and mouth to make her look scary and mysterious. Ren, whose face was painted in a similar manner simply stood next to his childhood friend, occasionally beating an Oum-mass triangle to the beat of his leader's riff.

Suddenly, one of Nora's grenades rolled onto the stage. It exploded shortly afterwards partly bathing the stage in thick pink mist. A silhouette emerged from the smoke, her witch's hat worn a little off-center, her crimson ponytail swaying behind her. Pyrrha set one foot forward and deftly run her fingers across her bass, a haunting rough melody complimenting Jaune's and Nora's savage tempo.

Weiss swallowed when the Arc-dolt's eyes met her own. Jaune's digits were a blur at this point. When the blond Arc leaned towards a stage microphone, a feral growl erupting from his throat.

**_"Crawling through the crevices of my own fractured heart_**

**_Shards cutting my limbs as I follow you, Weiss_**

**_I'll pierce my eardrums for a moment of your laugh_**

**_I'd sacrifice my life for your cold whiny embrace"_**

Yang burst into laughter as the Schnee heiress stared at the blond dolt in sheer horror. Ruby taped her foot to the beat of the song seeming to enjoy the music, while Blake winced at the volume of the instruments that assaulted her sensitive ears.

"_**Squealing like a pig in the jaws of Grim**_

_**I am bleeding love for you, Weiss**_

_**Crushed by your rejections, pulverized my ribs**_

_**I call you my Snow Angel, and you call me a disgrace"**_

The tempo slowed down as Jaune closed his eyes and held the microphone in his hands, gingerly. The sound of Nora's drums fading into the background. Ren's instrument clanked sadly.

When Jaune sang this time his voice was subdued and gentle, he sang with all of his being. Pyrrha performed the secondary vocals choosing to enunciate random words from the song and even adding some of her own that fit the occasion.

**"Your flatness doesn't matter to me"**

_**-Flat-**_

_**"So let me be your prince"**_

_**-Prince-**_

_**"Your charming White Kniiight"**_

_**-Snobbish dwarf-**_

_**"Your Aura cant tank my love"**_

_**-Cant tank-**_

_**"Our bodies ignite like Dust"**_

_**-One of you will-**_

_**"I've got you in my siiiights"**_

The two singers sang together the last part. Jaune caressing his microphone, a tear rolling down his cheek, while Pyrrha leaned forward to grin at the Schnee heiress like a raving psychopath.

Ren clanged his triangle three times in quick succession, Nora's tempo speeding up and rising in volume at every clanking sound. Jaune and Pyrrha stepped back. Ren took a step forward.

_**"Sadness and pain**_

_**They taint your name**_

_**You wear it in pride**_

_**You should do so in shame**_

_**Jaune doesn't care about your money**_

_**He doesn't know about your fame**_

_**You done fucked up sonny**_

_**Now Pyrrha's in the game**_

_**I'm just standing here**_

_**Taking in your sweet fear**_

_**I am the spelling bee**_

_**Starting a killing spree**_

_**Gun for a stinger, I shoot to sting. Just try to flee**_

_**Want some honey in your poisoned tea, Lady Schnee?**_

_**Where are my manners? You pick a fight with team JNPR, you dolt**_

_**You are lucky I don't strangle you with your team banners**_

_**One day you're gonna get shot"**_

Weiss blinked, coming out of her trance, before realization dawned on her. "They are threatening me!" She said in a shrill tone of voice, "Let's go report them to the teachers." She shrieked in indignation turning towards her teammates, only to find Ruby and Yang applauding the usually quiet boy. Blake was recording the entire thing on her Scroll with a sly smile plastered on her face.

Meanwhile, Pyrrha was burning a Weiss effigy on the stage. The W of team RWBY watched in horror as the flames engulfed the effigy's face burning its painted features. The smoke of the fire concealed the forms of the musicians before the sprinklers came into life gradually extinguishing the hungry flames.

By the time the fire died out completely, team JNPR was posing on stage dressed in Beowolf costumes, minus Ren that was missing. The Jaune-Beowolf approached the microphone, his paws slapping the cords of his guitar to produce a series of earsplitting sounds. Pyrrha mimicked him, having far more success playing a musical instrument with her hands covered in furry gloves than anyone should be. Nora just pounded her drums like she was playing whack-a-mole with her drumsticks.

The Jaune-Beowolf howled in anger before snarling at the crowd. Pyrrha smirked at the Schnee heiress.

_**"Run! My affection outrun, try to escape me, Weiss!"**_

_**-Run bitch!-**_

_**"I'll choke you in a hug, suffocate you in my embrace!"**_

_**-Nobody will find your body-**_

_**"I like you so much I will eat your corpse, nibble on your face**_

_**-I will eat your face-**_

_**I treat you like my queeeen, you dub me a disgraaace"**_

_**\- Nobody will find your body-**_

Suddenly inhuman snarls rang out across the cafeteria. The sound of Nora's tempo became a rapidly peaking cacophony of repetitive thuds. Ren climbed back onto the stage, dragging a chained Beowolf behind him. The drums sped up as the snarling creature was led in front of the masqueraded Arc who lifted his guitar in the air like an executioner's axe.

The enraptured students in the crowd held their breaths in anticipation. The guitar descended with a terrible sorrowful sound. The Beowolf stopped moving. The music faded. The flesh of the slain Grimm started dissipating. Jaune cleared his throat.

"So... Weiss, will you go out with me?" He murmured while scratching the back of his neck with his fake Beowolf claws.


End file.
